Who You Gonna Believe--Sarah, or Your Lying Eyes?

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website.)

For all the talk of White House chaos stemming from Trump’s declining mental stability (whether said decline be from a rumored battle with dementia or narcissistic personality disorder is still up for debate), we can’t ignore a common thread running through his staff: they seem to be incompetent AF. From Eagle Scout letter mix ups to tweets calling Melania by the wrong name, it looks as though many on payroll at 1600 Pennsylvania are not actually qualified for the job. A remixed old adage fits perfectly here: Like employer, like employee. Sure, some of these things can be chalked up to human error, but when you represent the leader of the free world and the United States as a whole, errors are unacceptable. 

In a time where this administration routinely lambasts verifiable truth as “fake news,” yet lies are lauded as “alternative facts,” it has become increasingly difficult to figure out whether or not this chaos is par for the course or purposefully planned. Take for instance the latest gaffe committed by none other than the US Press Secretary, Sarah Huckster-bee Sanders. This walking, talking, Chrysler 300 stands before our nation’s press everyday spinning lies into more lies and never blinks. (I honestly don’t know that she *can* blink with those wonky eyes, but that’s neither here nor there.) Her latest lie actually came with visual aids.

On the day after midterms, our tyrannical tangerine toddler-in-chief gave a press conference which could be classified as one of his most combative to date. At the podium he seemed more defensive than usual, quick to insult reporters and rebuke their questions. He belittled National Urban Radio Network’s April Ryan, saying she was very rude and forcefully repeating “SIT DOWN!” when she would not let him escape a question on voter suppression. He chided PBSNewsHour’s Yamiche Alcindor when she asked about his proclamation of being a nationalist, calling her question “racist.” He pretended to not be able to understand a reporter who asked him about the two Muslim victors in the previous night’s election. The entire thing was a hot mess (you can read the transcript here). The biggest showdown, however, took place on the front row between Trump and CNN’s Jim Acosta. Jim tried to get an answer as to why Trump and the GOP were classifying the caravan of asylum seekers traveling through Mexico as some sort of dangerous immigrant invasion right before midterms. Trump gave his usual non-answer, then got frustrated when he couldn’t escape Acosta’s follow ups. As he repeatedly shouted “That’s enough!” a female white house aide tried to bumrush Acosta and snatch the mic, as he calmly stood there trying to get his question out. Most people who saw this in real time, witnessed exactly that.
Later in the day, it was announced that the White House was revoking Acosta’s press pass. Huh? For what—asking a public servant questions the public wants answered? When asked for clarity, storytellin Sarah issued this statement: “President Trump believes in a free press and expects and welcomes tough questions of him and his Administration. We will, however, never tolerate a reporter placing his hands on a young woman just trying to do her job as a White House intern. This conduct is absolutely unacceptable.” When most of the sane American public read this, their response was a resounding “Girl, WUT?” Surely señorita smokey eye was mistaken, because NOBODY in their right minds who witnessed that exchange would believe this load of nonsense, right?

Wrong.

As soon as the rebukes of her statement came rolling in, Huckabuck Sanders tweeted out a video which she claimed “clearly documented” the “inappropriate behavior” from her official Press Secretary account. It was liked over 100,000 times, and retweeted almost 32,000 times. The trouble is, anyone with half a brain can see that this video was doctored to give the illusion of Acosta’s hand moving faster than it did in real life. Another issue? The video reportedly originated from Infowars—a well known far right-wing conspiracy website who, along with their laughable leader Alex Jones, has been banned from almost all of social media and youtube due to propaganda tactics. Yet, the PRESS SECRETARY OF THE UNITED STATES is spreading their bovine excrement as FACT. What level of incompetence is this? I mean, we know the Trump administration is full of idiots, but really Sarah? Being built like a brick is bad enough, you gotta have a head like one too? Are you aware that you are the press secretary of the country, and not Trumpito’s personal PR agent? Or, could this all be purposeful persuasion via prevarication? This White House knows their base is just a box full of dull tacks and tools, layered with rocks. Anything they throw out there will be accepted as the gospel truth (as found in “two corinthians”). So as to continue their trend of discrediting the press while turning our democracy into a totalitarian regime, they are now citing Inforwars as a reliable source.

This is either the most inept administration of our lifetimes, or the most insidious one. Either way, America? You in danger, girl. 

So the Devil Went Down To Georgia...To Disenfranchise Black Voters

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website.)

You know that phrase “This ain’t yo mama’s civil rights movement,” coined around 2014, during the time of the Ferguson protests? Turns out, it might be a little inaccurate. The civil rights movements of the 50’s and 60’s were focused on equal rights for minorities, namely the right to vote. Since the abolition of slavery, legal voter suppression tactics were commonplace in the form of poll taxes, literacy tests, and plain ol’ physical intimidation, often times leading to death. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 put a stop to most of them, but if you think a white man with a plan to oppress minorities will be denied? You have another think coming. It took an entire century for minorities to actually gain the right to vote, free of charge, yet in just half that time, the Republican Party has figured out cheat codes to work around the 15th Amendment. Since 2008, more than 30 of our 50 states have introduced laws that support voter suppression, and since 2011, 22 states have passed the stricter measures. I’ll give you a hint as to why: it rhymes with “Yo Mama became Resident of the United States.” Looks like we are right back to the same issues of our parent’s (and grandparent’s) civil rights movement.

Just this past weekend, a student has his phone physically ripped away from him by Georgia Senator David Purdue, when he asked Purdue about his support of a candidate who is currently practicing voter suppression. The Senator was at a Georgia Tech game stumping for Secretary of State (and chief election official) Brian Kemp, a Republican currently running for Governor against Stacey Abrams, a Black woman and Democrat. Kemp has been accused of holding up 53,000 new voter registration applications, mostly of minorities and women. The applicants are marked “pending” by Kemp’s office because of Georgia’s “exact match” law, newly passed last year. Some of the things that can hinder an “exact match” approval are a missing hyphen in a last name, a discrepancy between a maiden name and a married name, or a misspelling in government records. As a person whose name is misspelled CONSTANTLY, I completely understand the angst and trepidation a law like this creates. Nobody has a problem spelling “Becky” or “Brett”, but as soon as LaTasha or Jamon turn in their registrations, all kinds of problems occur. White people can spell Tchaikovsky by heart but can’t type Aaliyah without stroking out. Hell, my first name only has three letters of the alphabet in it and people STILL find a way to add more. The insidiousness of this law is that it disproportionately affects minorities—in this case, those more apt to vote for Abrams. The race in Georgia is said to be a toss up, and 53,000 votes could make or break a candidate.

Not to be outdone in racism new voter legislation, North Carolina enacted a law that has effectively shut down 20 percent of their early voting locations. In an effort to throw the rock and hide their hand, they claim the *hours* available for early voting won’t be reduced, just a small change in *days* available, eliminating the Saturday before the election. The hours usually allocated to that Saturday have now been dispersed throughout the week, making 12 hour days for polling volunteers. Without the manpower to work these new hours, polling places have been forced to close. Minority voters are said to be the main beneficiaries of early voting, due to work and transportation hinderances on weekdays. What day do they mostly show up? You guessed it: the last Saturday before the election. In 2016, 200,000 people voted on that day alone. By eliminating this day, minority votes are exponentially annihilated.

The south isn’t the only place minorities are being disenfranchised; this week, North Dakota’s controversial ID laws were confusingly upheld by the Supreme Court. The law requires residents to now show identification with a current *street* address and not their tribal government issued ID cards which only show a PO Box, as they have always done in the past (and even in the primaries, which occurred weeks ago). Just one problem with that whole street address thing: the Native American North Dakotans who live on reservations, numbering in the tens of thousands, do not have street addresses. I bet you’re wondering who Native Americans have a tendency to vote for. Hint: it ain’t Republicans.

Voter fraud is practically non-existent in Georgia, North Carolina, North Dakota and the ENTIRE country, so these measures obviously aren’t about maintaining the integrity of the process. On the contrary, these republican led initiatives are made for one thing and one thing only: to stop the people who traditionally vote against their party from doing so. For anybody out there who still thinks voting is futile, I ask you this: if it didn’t matter, why are these old white men going through so much trouble to stop you from doing it?

I Am White Man...Hear Me ROAR

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website)

Oh, boy. Thursday was a DAY.

The Senate Judiciary Committee held a public hearing for Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, one of the 4 (5? I can’t keep up…) women who has accused him of being a sexual assailant. This hearing was supposed to help the committee and the American public get a better view into the allegations, hear both sides of the story, and possibly determine their validity in a non-partisan, objective environment. Yeaaaaaaaah, that didn’t really happen.

The first clue that the GOP was full of games and shenanigans was the presence of Rachel Mitchell, a special prosecutor from Arizona experienced in sex crimes. The Judiciary Committee has no women on the GOP side, so what do these old-crotchety-white-men-who-only-want-to-promote-their-agendas do? Hire one from across the country and fly her in to question Dr. Ford, so that they don’t *look like* the bunch of old-crotchety-white-men-attacking-a-survivor-of-sexual-abuse-in-order-to-promote-their-agendas they are. Ms. Mitchell however, proved to be a bit of a backfired plan for the Republicans. Since the committee members take 5 minute turns, and the political parties alternate each turn, Mitchell was only allowed to proceed after her questioning had been interrupted by apologies and praise from Democrats. Through this frustrating and tedious process, Mitchell ended up bolstering Dr. Ford’s credibility, almost beyond the shadow of doubt. Towards the end of Ford’s interrogation, Mitchell surprised many viewers by jokingly asking “would you believe me if I told you that there is no study that says that this setting in five-minute increments is the best way to do [this]?” As if to say “Look, I’m just here to do a job and stay neutral. So if you don’t get the result you want, it’s not my fault. Don’t @ me, GOP bros.”

The GOP was dejected and the outlook was grim. Faux News Anchors were voicing their fears aloud, saying this was a disaster for republicans. Meaning it looked like Dr. Ford was telling the truth, and people believed her. (Spoiler Alert: She’s telling the truth. #BelieveSurvivors) What, oh what were they gonna do? The truth is such a foreign concept to the GOP, they were genuinely baffled at the situation.

Just to remind everyone: Supreme Court positions are LIFETIME appointments, and the vacancy Kavanaugh was nominated to fill already came about in a very peculiar way (with the suspicious, early retirement of Justice Anthony Kennedy), and at a very peculiar time (after the Republican majority senate CHANGED THE RULES in order to confirm Trump’s first pick, Neil Gorsuch…after stalling out Obama’s pick so that Trump could get the pick in the *first* place). Supreme Court rulings affect people for GENERATIONS. If a president as incompetent as Ding-Dong J. Trump is placing TWO people on it? We should ALL be concerned and paying complete attention to the moral character of his nominees. This is, in essence, an intensive background check on someone who wants a very important job. (Kinda like the one we should have done on Donald Trump, #ButHerEmails…)

With Dr. Ford being embraced by the nation as a sympathetic witness, Kavanaugh decided to enter his testimony with brow furrowed, jaw clenched, and eyes full of…invisible tears. He alternated between looking like a spoiled brat, whining about crusts not being cut off his PB&J, and someone suffering with the worst dry mouth and seasonal allergies ever. I’m assuming he was trying to convey the emotional rollercoaster he has been on since these allegations surfaced, but all many saw was a privileged white male fake-crying because this girl and her rape trauma were standing in the way of his big promotion. Poor wittle Bwett Bwett. Mitchell began her line of questioning, but Kavanaugh did not prove to be as willing or cooperative a witness as Dr. Ford. When the Democratic senators had their shot, his agitation and deflection only increased. This was probably evident to the GOP—which is why they suddenly and without announcement decided to dump Mitchell, mid-hearing, and resume the questioning themselves. It was quite the change of course, and to usher it in with proper fanfare, Senator Lindsey “I wanna be Francis Underwood so bad” Graham decided it was his time to SHINE. And by shine, I mean throw a nonsensical hissy fit that would rival a Real Housewife. Lindsey came out BIG MAD. He wanted the world to know. He had to let it show. It was also the cue for the rest of the GOP committee members to fall in line. Questioning Kavanaugh magically and theatrically turned into pacifying Kavanaugh. By the end of their turns, Faux News was spinning this as a major comeback for the GOP. Even after determined Dems like Booker and Harris left him little to no wiggle room, Kavanaugh still was lauded by the right as an honest man who is being smeared by this rape nonsense. One can safely assume they don’t really care if he did it, they just don’t want it to LOOK LIKE he did it. (Another Spoiler Alert: He still looks guilty AF. Because he is.)

If and when the vote proceeds on Friday, we can only hope that enough people on the right saw through the magician’s distraction and are not easily fooled by slight of hand. Aside from the fact that Weepy McRapeyBeer does not seem to possess the mental or emotional stability of a supreme court judge—do we REALLY want to put ourselves in a position to have to explain to our daughters how, not one, but TWO men accused of sexual assault are literally in charge of laws that affect…sexual assailants? How do you make the same mistake twice in a lifetime, America? Oh…wait. White men still in charge. Got it.

Is Sexual Deviancy in the Job Description for SCOTUS, or...

Journey with me, if you will, to the past: a time of bullies, bad fashion and bangs; where hormones run rampant and decisions are as bad as the cafeteria food…I’m talking about High School, folks. I want you to picture your high school friends and acquaintances, count up how many of them you were with every second of every day. Got it? Good, now stick a pin in that thought.

Before Al Gore’s internet gave us social media—the place where people will sleuth out ALL your business, even though you only post a carefully curated highlight reel—the way we remained connected was limited to folded up looseleaf paper and the miracle of three-way calling. So it’s quite possible your friends were able to do things without your knowledge, right? Well, the GOP doesn’t think so. Which is why they are selling us this hot, buttery bullshit of a letter signed by 65 women who happened to know Brett Kavanaugh in high school, in order to refute Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s attempted rape accusation.

Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif), ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, was made aware of Dr. Ford’s account of sexual assault at Kavanaugh’s hand sometime in July. Feinstein referred the case to the FBI, the accusation became public, and the GOP threw a hissy fit at what looked like a last-minute attempt in thwarting their corruption confirmation plans. Interestingly enough, they were fully prepared with a rebuttal to this very same “last-minute” discovery they complained about. Which lets me know two things: 1) The GOP was very aware of the accusation well ahead of it becoming public, and 2) The GOP is very willing to put an attempted rapist onto the Supreme Court. The rebuttal, issued within 24 hours of the accusation going public, was the aforementioned letter signed by 65 women, who said Kavanaugh has “behaved honorably and treated women with respect” for the entire time they have known him. Let’s unpack that a bit, shall we? Pull out that pin.

How many of us can say we knew 65 people WELL in high school? I mean, being in Beta Club together does not mean I’m sure you are not a rapist. In high school, you had a close friend circle of 5-7 people MAX, and that’s if you were lucky. Sure, there were people you knew outside of that circle, like the folks you shared the lunch table with everyday, your homie on the track team, the kid in homeroom you’d always loan pencils to, and your bus mate that always saved you a seat in the back because CLUTCH, but did you know those people well enough to know their deepest, darkest desires and deeds? HELL NO YOU DID NOT. Additionally, how many of us can say we knew someone well enough in high school, that we would vouch for their every movement and decision thirty years later? I wouldn’t even vouch for my high school boyfriend at this stage in life. Sure, he never raped ME, and he treated ME with honor and respect, but I suspect that was more because he was scared of my mother chopping off his private parts than anything else. I was not with him every minute of the day, so I cannot in good faith sign my name to a document refuting another woman’s experience with him. To make matters worse, Brett Kavanaugh went to an all boy’s school. That means these 65 women knew him even LESS than the women who attended co-ed high schools know their male classmates. Really GOP? An attempted rape charge and this is the best you could come up with? 65 women from the surrounding schools and neighborhoods who knew about a boy named Brett that heard he was a good guy because he never tried to rape THEM? Give me a break.

In a compelling turn of events, what seemed to be a shoo-in confirmation for Kavanaugh has now been paused for more investigation and hearings. Dr. Ford, who has already passed a polygraph test and has medical records detailing the attack which predate Kavanaugh’s nomination by at least 6 years, is scheduled to testify before the committee on Monday, September 24th. I have little hope for justice to prevail, seeing as though I lived through the Anita Hill hearings, but we will watch closely and see how the situation unfolds. Aside from the fact that Kavanaugh would be a total nightmare on the supreme court due to his views on Net Neutrality, Women’s Reproductive Rights, Healthcare, and Gun Laws, we already have one accused sexual deviant on the bench. We don’t need two. *stares directly at Clarence Thomas*

phenomenal binder, that's me

As seen on AwesomelyLuvvie.com

Inspired by Mitt Romney's "Binders Full of Women" commentary during the presidential debates.  (To the tune of "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou)

Bigger binders wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not tall enough at all for 11×14 size.
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in my front pocket
And the one in the rear
The reinforced metal socket
The cover that’s clear
I’m a binder
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal binder,
That’s me.

I’m stored up on the shelf
Just as cool as you please
And for a band
On music stands
Or placed atop their knees.
Choir kids swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the 3 rings that hold
All the music they read
You just can’t deny
I’m their basic need
I’m a binder.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Binder,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s because I’m so convenient
Because I hold so much
You can find me in your backpack
with just the slightest touch.
I’m a binder.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Binder,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my cover’s not bent.
Don’t need a lock or special box
to protect important contents.
When you fill me up with women
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my rings
The bend of my spine
The dividers I hold
My color, so divine.
‘Cause I’m a binder.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal binder,
That’s me.

©K.K.Hough

no boys allowed

If you read this and still think the GOP has ANYONE'S best interest in mind by outlawing all abortion, you are pretty much losing at life. Eve Ensler just broke it down, and gave all of us a #ReasontoRise against the GOP. Vote them out of the house, so we can get them OUT OF OUR VAGINAS.