Same Sedition, Different Century

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website.)

Honkey Kong, 2021. This is what happens when white people don’t get to oppress minorities in this country anymore: they commit treason. (Reference: United States History circa 1861)

For my birthday this year, I was gonna make a whole list of “things I learned on my last rotation around the sun” to coordinate with my big age.

Then racist White people went crazy yesterday and tried to stage a coup on our government. 

All day, I’ve been trying to figure out how to put into words what it feels like to watch history be made, and then, less than 10 hours later, watch the country retch and writhe and vomit up its worst parts in reaction to PROGRESS like it’s bad sushi. I’m still drawing blanks.

Might be because I’ve slept a grand total of 9.75 hours in the last three days.

Might be because I’m overstimulated and have too much going on.

Might be because my feelings about this are so big, I can’t condense them into the tiny characters on my laptop screen.

I went to a prestigious magnet high school. This is not a flex. There was a documentary done about our school once, because of the groundbreaking advancements our principal made available to us. (Clips of it were on YouTube years ago—I don’t know if they’re still there.) We had grants from Compaq, Exxon, a formidable pre-Engineering program, AP (and regular) courses taught by people with PhDs...and this was a public school, not private. We really were afforded top tier instruction for FREE 99. The rough estimate racial make up of the school was around 60% White; 40% Black; 5% Latino; 5% Asian (South and East)/Eastern European. In 1994, we had a Black, female Salutatorian AND a Black, female Valedictorian.

The next year, White parents (mostly mothers) were on our campus trying to collect signatures from other White parents in the school pick-up line on a petition to get the magnet program removed from my school and moved to a school in their neighborhood. They were covert about it, but...I’m an observer. I’d noticed them milling about a few days in a row with their little clipboards, so I pretended I was going towards the buses in order to eavesdrop, heard one of the White mothers explain it to another, and watched with my own two eyes as that White woman determinedly signed her name. I don’t know if clipboard Karen was part of the PTA or just a regular parent trying to stir up shyt, but I knew without a DOUBT what the impetus was.

Obviously, she didn’t frame it that way. She complained about the kids not being rested because they had to get up super early to be bussed to “this side of town.” Poured on the “fear for our students safety” crap THICK for good measure. I should clarify here that yes my school was, indeed, in the hood. *MY* hood, specifically. Yes, it was wild IN the hood, on the residential streets—it was the 90’s and we were living the resultant effects of Reganomics and Ronnie’s disingenuous war on drugs. But CAMPUS was never dangerous before, during, or after classes, at least that I experienced, and I was in many extracurriculars that had me at school either early, late, or both. I remember track practices where it was dark outside, yet we never had issues because the corner dudes didn’t come on our campus. And if they weren’t coming to bother girls in track shorts, they weren’t gonna bother your precious Caucasian prince, clipboard Karen. Plus—our principal was a Black man and they knew we were the “nerd school.” They left us alone. There was never a shooting or threat of gun violence on our campus, because this was pre-Columbine. Sit with *that* bit of irony for a second.

My senior year, we had a race riot on campus when the kids from clipboard Karen’s side of town, who’d formed a group called “The Rebels of D’Ville,” posted a shoutout in the school newspaper with a bunch of acronyms, one being “KTN” which meant “Kill The N!@@ers,” hard -er. They tried to insult our intelligence and say that’s not what it meant. However, when the emblematic way you choose to represent yourselves is having the confederate flag on everything you wear, drive, carry, and stick on the inside of your locker...it’s a very hard sell. The Black students spent the weekend organizing a protest on carefully and creatively navigated three way calls. The plan was to wear all Black, meet in the square, and demand that the administration set rules that the Rebels can’t print codes in the paper anymore. We also wanted an apology. 

The day of the protest,  students gathered in the square—and the line of demarcation was indicated not only by clothing, but skin color. Threats were yelled across the concrete, and the Black students dared the White ones to “say it to our faces.” They never said the word, but one of the White male students spit—yes, SPIT— at our side, and that ignited a brawl. After the short melee, we had to sit in something resembling a damn sharing circle, and listen to White girls cry about “heritage, not hate”—again, this was the 90’s, lest you think that phrase is some new development. 

We also had to endure gaslighting, because WE were not allowed to wear anything that represented Malcolm X, including the “Malcolm, Martin, Mandela & Me” shirts that were popular at the time. (Yes, Martin Luther King, Jr.). We had a very vocal Jewish instructor at the school, so I am willing to bet Malcolm’s affiliation with the Nation is what caused the ban on *his* paraphernalia...but it does not explain why we also couldn’t wear the red, black and green Africa pendants while the “rebels” were absolutely allowed to wear the “You wear your X, I’ll wear mine” shirts. And did. All the time. Again, my principal was a Black man. (Not casting aspersions on him at ALL, just pointing out the fact that this grown, accomplished Black man had to somehow swallow that White boys walking around wearing the confederate flag in his face everyday was ok, while also having to tell Black children they couldn’t represent El Hajj Malik El Shabazz in the same manner.)

All of this to say: I am no stranger to the capacity of hatful evil White people can internalize, justify, and act on when they feel like minorities are getting too big for their britches. As a daughter of the south, I have lived it first hand, many a day. Luckily, I’ve had wisdom passed down from generations that lived through harder times than I’ve ever seen. My grandmother was born in 1903 and lived to be 95 years old. My uncles, aunts, and parents had to drink out of water fountains that were labeled for their skin color. We, in the Black community, are not new to this.

It’s also why yesterday was not a complete surprise to me. I had no incredulity about what was transpiring in the Capitol when White supremacists stormed through doors with their privilege and nary a plan. All I had yesterday was exhausted rage and animated anguish over the fact that even when we do all we can to push this nation forward in order to help EVERYONE, the pushBACK comes from the same cast of characters that have been mad since 1865: LBJ’s lowest White men. 

The Late President Lyndon B. Johnson once said, "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." Such a shame that even when afforded access to everything by default, including top tier educations, ignorance is what a majority of White people choose. 

And yes, Virginia, it *is* the *majority* of White people. 74 million people vs. 81 million people is damn near a 1:1 ratio. Percentage wise, 60% of white voters voted for trump. I already told you I went to a good school, so you should readily accept that *I* know how percentages and representation work. 

We ain’t new to this; but we really wish the nation would stop being so ghatdamb true to this. 

Maybe next year’s birthday will be full of fun and celebration, it will be my “Obama birthday,” after all. All I can say now is that y’all BETTER be glad these people chose the 6th and not the 7th to act a fool; had these troglodytes made Blue Ivy’s birthday a mess, THE ENTIRE BEYHIVE WOULD NOT REST UNTIL EVERY ONE OF THESE DOMESTIC TERRORISTS WERE FOUND AND PUNISHED.

The Capitol building really is a majestic building. I have been blessed with the opportunity to be invited to it multiple times, and have pictures of my husband and I on the Speaker’s Balcony. Such a pitiful, criminal shame it was desecrated by thugs, terrorists, and White Supremacist traitors to our democracy. May they get what they deserve.  

My only birthday wish today was: America, do TF BETTER.

Shameful, Treasonous Domestic Terrorist Walks Enemy Flag Through the Halls of the US Congress

When the President Doesn't Know How Government Works

So, we’re three days into 2019, and thirteen days into the toddler-in-chief’s latest temper tantrum. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, or purposefully unplugged from politics to preserve your sanity, you’ve heard about the government shutdown that occurred right before the holidays. President Grinch asked Santa Congress to attach $5 Billion in funding to the government spending bill, so that he could build the wall he promised all his racist, xenophobic supporters on the campaign trail (you know, the one he REPEATEDLY said Mexico was going to pay for…), and Santa Congress said “hell nah.”
Now, maybe it’s because he never watched School House Rock or paid attention in civics class, but Trump honestly doesn’t seem to know how the US Government works. In order for a bill to pass, it has to have the required number of votes in both the House of Representatives (where, at the time, there was a Republican majority) and the Senate (where there is still a Republican majority). When he met with Nancy Pelosi and Charles Schumer prior to the shutdown, he claimed that Democrats were the reason behind the bill not passing. In truth, there aren’t enough House Republicans on board with this ridiculous ass proposition either. Pelosi reminded him of that, and Trump did what Trump does best: vomiting up nonsensical word salad, telling lies, and demonstrating his incompetence. By the end of the conversation, he’d stepped into a pile of huge, steaming shutdown of his own making.
If the shutdown only affected the paychecks of those making the decisions on capitol hill, the decision might be a little more understandable. But numerous government agencies are feeling this hit. Departments like Housing and Urban Development, the Coast Guard, the FCC and FEMA just to name a few, have had to furlough close to 800,000 federal employees or ask them to work without pay. Most ironically, the department that oversees Customs and Border Protection, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, is affected. The very people who work to protect the border are now working without pay, because the president wants to build a wall which probably costs more than 10 years of their salaries combined. This whole situation is just…stupid.
The 116th Congress was seated earlier today, and newly elected Speaker Pelosi wasted no time in bringing a measure to the House floor aimed at partially reopening the government. The bill passed with bipartisan support, but is said to face a veto from the president (if it even makes it out of the Republican controlled Senate). Congressional leaders are slated to meet with the president on Friday in an effort to discuss compromise, but if his previous behavior is any indication, getting him to let go of this wall funding will be more difficult than getting him to pronounce anonymous. 

Wall Woes

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website.)

Reading the news these days feels more like reading a script for an experimental spinoff of “House of Cards.” Contrived crises which affect elections, plea deals for criminal activity, and constant chaos at 1600 Pennsylvania feels as though this administration lifted it’s strategies straight from Netflix. Unfortunately, no one in this version is as smart as the TV characters, so it’s more like all political decisions are being made by Tom Hammerschmidt’s dog. No shade to the dog.

On the heels of losing the House to Democrats, the petulant persimmon presiding over America’s fate is poised to throw yet another tantrum over his border wall funding. Trump wants our government to guarantee him $5 Billion (with a B) toward building a “big, fat, beautiful wall" between the US and Mexico. Never mind that the ENTIRE TIME this idiot yodeled about a damn wall on the campaign trail, he swore Mexico was gonna pay for it (and Mexican legislators have said time and time again NO THE FU@K WE AIN’T); Never mind that Congress told him early on in his tenure he needs to go saddown somewhere with this ridiculous request, and that the cost of the wall has ballooned up to three times the original estimates (latest one puts the cost at around $21 Billion); Never mind that he already threatened to shutdown the government over this issue earlier this year, and still didn’t get his way; Donnie wants his wall, and there’s nothing you level headed, law abiding adults can do to change his mind.

The fact that there are thousands of asylum seekers at the border right now, fleeing life threatening gang violence and poverty caused by their own government’s implosion, is pouring racist gasoline on this dumpster fire of an issue. Weeks before the migrant caravan was even close to the US, Trump started his Paul Revere/Chicken Little routine: running around the country at various GOP political rallies shouting “The immigrants are coming! The fences are falling!” Obviously, this was in an effort to make sure bigoted, xenophobic white people would go out and vote Republican, but it also laid a firm foundation for the reemergence of his wall whining. This may explain why the GOP led congress kicked the can of funding the wall down the road until after midterms. He has since deployed around 5,900 active duty troops to the border, (in addition to the 2,100 national guardsmen already there, costing taxpayers around $210 Million), and recently gave authorization to the military for the use of lethal force against the migrants…even though being admitted as a refugee and seeking asylum in America is a perfectly legal process.

All of this builds pressure on congress right before a vote on the budget, which includes his outrageous wall ask. As we all know, pressure bursts pipes, but in this case? Trump is hoping that pressure builds him a wall. Let’s hope this venture ends up just like the majority of the ones he takes in business: as a spectacular failure.

Who You Gonna Believe--Sarah, or Your Lying Eyes?

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website.)

For all the talk of White House chaos stemming from Trump’s declining mental stability (whether said decline be from a rumored battle with dementia or narcissistic personality disorder is still up for debate), we can’t ignore a common thread running through his staff: they seem to be incompetent AF. From Eagle Scout letter mix ups to tweets calling Melania by the wrong name, it looks as though many on payroll at 1600 Pennsylvania are not actually qualified for the job. A remixed old adage fits perfectly here: Like employer, like employee. Sure, some of these things can be chalked up to human error, but when you represent the leader of the free world and the United States as a whole, errors are unacceptable. 

In a time where this administration routinely lambasts verifiable truth as “fake news,” yet lies are lauded as “alternative facts,” it has become increasingly difficult to figure out whether or not this chaos is par for the course or purposefully planned. Take for instance the latest gaffe committed by none other than the US Press Secretary, Sarah Huckster-bee Sanders. This walking, talking, Chrysler 300 stands before our nation’s press everyday spinning lies into more lies and never blinks. (I honestly don’t know that she *can* blink with those wonky eyes, but that’s neither here nor there.) Her latest lie actually came with visual aids.

On the day after midterms, our tyrannical tangerine toddler-in-chief gave a press conference which could be classified as one of his most combative to date. At the podium he seemed more defensive than usual, quick to insult reporters and rebuke their questions. He belittled National Urban Radio Network’s April Ryan, saying she was very rude and forcefully repeating “SIT DOWN!” when she would not let him escape a question on voter suppression. He chided PBSNewsHour’s Yamiche Alcindor when she asked about his proclamation of being a nationalist, calling her question “racist.” He pretended to not be able to understand a reporter who asked him about the two Muslim victors in the previous night’s election. The entire thing was a hot mess (you can read the transcript here). The biggest showdown, however, took place on the front row between Trump and CNN’s Jim Acosta. Jim tried to get an answer as to why Trump and the GOP were classifying the caravan of asylum seekers traveling through Mexico as some sort of dangerous immigrant invasion right before midterms. Trump gave his usual non-answer, then got frustrated when he couldn’t escape Acosta’s follow ups. As he repeatedly shouted “That’s enough!” a female white house aide tried to bumrush Acosta and snatch the mic, as he calmly stood there trying to get his question out. Most people who saw this in real time, witnessed exactly that.
Later in the day, it was announced that the White House was revoking Acosta’s press pass. Huh? For what—asking a public servant questions the public wants answered? When asked for clarity, storytellin Sarah issued this statement: “President Trump believes in a free press and expects and welcomes tough questions of him and his Administration. We will, however, never tolerate a reporter placing his hands on a young woman just trying to do her job as a White House intern. This conduct is absolutely unacceptable.” When most of the sane American public read this, their response was a resounding “Girl, WUT?” Surely señorita smokey eye was mistaken, because NOBODY in their right minds who witnessed that exchange would believe this load of nonsense, right?

Wrong.

As soon as the rebukes of her statement came rolling in, Huckabuck Sanders tweeted out a video which she claimed “clearly documented” the “inappropriate behavior” from her official Press Secretary account. It was liked over 100,000 times, and retweeted almost 32,000 times. The trouble is, anyone with half a brain can see that this video was doctored to give the illusion of Acosta’s hand moving faster than it did in real life. Another issue? The video reportedly originated from Infowars—a well known far right-wing conspiracy website who, along with their laughable leader Alex Jones, has been banned from almost all of social media and youtube due to propaganda tactics. Yet, the PRESS SECRETARY OF THE UNITED STATES is spreading their bovine excrement as FACT. What level of incompetence is this? I mean, we know the Trump administration is full of idiots, but really Sarah? Being built like a brick is bad enough, you gotta have a head like one too? Are you aware that you are the press secretary of the country, and not Trumpito’s personal PR agent? Or, could this all be purposeful persuasion via prevarication? This White House knows their base is just a box full of dull tacks and tools, layered with rocks. Anything they throw out there will be accepted as the gospel truth (as found in “two corinthians”). So as to continue their trend of discrediting the press while turning our democracy into a totalitarian regime, they are now citing Inforwars as a reliable source.

This is either the most inept administration of our lifetimes, or the most insidious one. Either way, America? You in danger, girl. 

The Ashiest Room in DC

With nary a proper fade, sharp line, or lick of common sense amongst them, a group of coontastic GOP acolytes, unfortunately possessing the magic of Mother Nature’s melanin in their skin, assembled on Friday to pay their fealty toward habanero Hitler. This gathering, coined the “Young Black Leadership Summit,” was a collection of lost souls who actually feel being a Black conservative in America, circa 2018, is something to be publicly proud of. Promoted by twitter personality and flip-flop charlatan Candace Owens, who seems to run from hairdressers and the truth at equal pace, this summit was supposed to be where young Black conservatives would “hear from some of the nation’s most well-known conservative leaders and activists, receive first-class professional development and leadership training, and network with other attendees and organizations from all across the country.” All of which sounds like cover for a bullshit assembly designed to be a photo op for Trump with Black people right before midterms.

Rumors circulated early on that the people in the audience were hired actors being compensated by Republican special interest groups. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that they weren’t paid to act; They were just paid to be the boot-licking idiots they are. On the Turning Point USA website under “Participant Costs,” it reads: “Admission to this event will be free to all attendees. TPUSA will also be covering lodging at no cost to the attendee for the nights of October 25th-October 27th (checking out the 28th). Lunch will be provided on Saturday, October 27th and brunch on Sunday, October 28th.” Turning Point also provided a form to fill out if a “Travel Stipend” was needed to get to DC. So, the only way they successfully gathered approximately 200 (not the 400 they lied about) Black people willing to be public embarrassments to themselves, their parents, their race, and their assumed intelligence, was to bribe them with free food, free lodging, and free or prorated travel. Sounds like a handout for just showing up, AMIRITE? I thought Black conservatives were supposed to be against that kinda thing?!? Hell, most Black people don’t even show up for free food at parties unless they get an acceptable answer to the time honored question: “who all over there?”
 
Speaking of which, the list of presenters was a laughable cornucopia of people who aren’t even claimed by a majority of the Black American community. It included the usual token folks that GOPers trot out to prove they actually know at least one Black person (Ben Carson, Kay C. James), failed Black “celebrities” (Stacey Dash, Larry Elder), some people looking for youtube fame (David Harris, Jr., Brandon Tatum, Maj Toure and Clay Dub), and a dude who has probably written one of those “A Nigerian Prince Has Left You Money” email scams a time or two (Colion Noir, real name Collins Iyare Idehen, Jr.). Who would rate the “professional development and leadership training” these people offered “first class”….Spirit Airlines? The only profession any of these folks seem to be successful at is tap dancing for white folks and kissing the GOP’s ass. They really needed to hold a four day summit for that?

Back to the main event. Instead of being a world leader and addressing the details surrounding the apprehension of #MAGABomber Cesar Sayoc, Trump decided to hold a pep rally in the East Room of the White House. He spent around 45 minutes lecturing the group of red hatted sycophants with his routine of exaggerated lies, peppered with non sequiturs, and they lapped it up like the trained house pets they were. In between their shouts of “USA! USA!” Trump ran through his usual talking points: making up things he’s done (gained more favor with African American voters) and taking credit for things he didn’t do (the Unemployment rate). He also made sure to mention Kanye West: “For example, we are grateful to Kanye West, how about Kanye? How about Kanye? I don't know. …And -- and one of the polls just comes, Kanye leaves -- and Kanye's really a great guy, he's a little different, do we say? He's a little different. But he has -- he's a smart guy and a good guy. …he's really something very, very special and interesting and I see why people like him. …So -- so I think Kanye -- he may be the most powerful man in all of politics, right?” This backhanded compliment all but confirms that although he’s grateful for the support he, too, thinks Kanye is koo-koo. It has also been said that West is the designer behind the “Blexit” shirts handed out on Saturday at the summit. Koo-koo birds of a feather flocking together AND wearing matching merch? That doesn’t sound like indoctrination AT ALL {/sarcasm font}.

One of the more disheartening things about the summit was the commentary shared from attendees who bought into Trump’s completely unsubstantiated rants about immigrants “taking jobs from the Black community” hook, line and sinker. Two of them even tried to argue with journalist Roland Martin about it, one shouting about taco stands taking over, and the other yelling out nonsensical stats like he had Tourette’s. (WHO is mad about taco stands tho? EVERYONE LOVES TACOS. Maybe you need to invest in taco stands instead of whatever crappy product you’re peddling, my guy. Just saying.) This messaging is completely on brand for the summit, which was supported and funded by groups like the Leadership Institute, The Heritage Foundation, and Campus Reform. These groups fuel conservative ideals against immigration (of brown people), working tirelessly to preserve white supremacy…and what better way to preserve white supremacy than to pit those being oppressed against each other? The divide and conquer tactic of minorities (and poor people) isn’t new; it is a tale as old as time, from slavery overseers to the Southern Strategy to the defeat of the Black Panther Party by the US Government. It looks as though the Trump Administration and the GOP have found a prized pretty pony in Candace Owens and the multitude of Stephens who showed up for this “summit.” Once again, rich white men in America are looking to Black people to do some heavy lifting in safeguarding their positions of power. Unfortunately, there are young Black people who are willing to throw the shackles around their own necks for the price of a cheap weekend in Washington, DC, and a free t-shirt with a crappy design. What a time to be alive.

UNGA Comedy Special

(A version of this post first appeared on the citizen.education website.)

Thank You & Try The Veal!

Today, instead of being bored with the business of maintaining solid social, economic, cultural and humanitarian efforts across the globe, the United Nations General Assembly was treated to a comedy show staring Mango Mussolini himself, Donald J. Trump. Although he arrived half an hour late to his set, the orange-dyed dictator landed some solid laughs right out of the gate. With a straight face and steeled reserve, he dug into his favorite bag of one liners to deliver this gem: "In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country…” A wave of giggles began to take over the audience, interrupting the statement and almost derailing the despot, but salmon colored Satan knows how to work his audience. In the next breath, he went in for the kill by stating: “So true.” The crowd lost it. Never before, in the history of the UNGA, has a world leader been laughed at so heartily. This is definitely one for the record and history books. To top it all off, the idiot-in-chief showed a fleeting moment of chagrin when he said “Didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s ok,” to which the crowd applauded and laughed harder.

Unfortunately, that was the peak of his performance. As the rest of his set labored on, he bragged on his bromance with crazed dictator Kim Jong Un, rambled through complaints about America being treated unfairly in trade agreements, and threw jabs at China, the Assad regime, Iran, and Germany. The Germans, however, took it in stride, offering up more laughter and shared whispers among themselves which seemed to say “This guy is hilarious!” Even still, Trump was visibly out of his depth at the podium. This was not the audience full of MAGA hats and “Lock Her Up” chants he’s grown so accustomed to for the past three years. On this stage, he is among political peers and intellectual giants. The clementine clown act just doesn’t cut it at the UN.

True to form, there is always, always, ALWAYS A TWEET that makes a Trump situation ironic as hell. I rarely agree with the statements of Donald Trump, but on this 25th day of September in the year of our Lord two thousand and eighteen, I find myself on one accord with a tweet his assistant he made long before he became the HNIC (Head Nectarine In Charge).  It stated: “We need a President who isn’t a laughing stock to the entire World. We need a truly great leader, a genius at strategy and winning. Respect!”—Donald J. Trump, August 9, 2014 3:30 AM (via Twitter)
Indeed, we do, and I believe Donald Trump can actually be the one who will facilitate this occurrence, by including these two words into his next public speech: "I resign.”
(Bonus points if he adds: “And I’m taking Pence with me.”)