We don't have to agree on everything--or anything for that matter,
but I will respect your commentary as long as you respect mine.
In other words: Watch it, sucka.
George Floyd’s younger brother Philonese Floyd said today that Emmett Till was the first George Floyd. I would just like to add the words “THAT WE ARE NATIONALLY AWARE OF.” Same racism; different century. The only thing new is the cameraphone located in everyone’s pocket.
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Honkey Kong, 2021. This is what happens when white people don’t get to oppress minorities in this country anymore: they commit treason. (Reference: United States History circa 1861)
For my birthday this year, I was gonna make a whole list of “things I learned on my last rotation around the sun” to coordinate with my big age.
Then racist White people went crazy yesterday and tried to stage a coup on our government.
All day, I’ve been trying to figure out how to put into words what it feels like to watch history be made, and then, less than 10 hours later, watch the country retch and writhe and vomit up its worst parts in reaction to PROGRESS like it’s bad sushi. I’m still drawing blanks.
Might be because I’ve slept a grand total of 9.75 hours in the last three days.
Might be because I’m overstimulated and have too much going on.
Might be because my feelings about this are so big, I can’t condense them into the tiny characters on my laptop screen.
I went to a prestigious magnet high school. This is not a flex. There was a documentary done about our school once, because of the groundbreaking advancements our principal made available to us. (Clips of it were on YouTube years ago—I don’t know if they’re still there.) We had grants from Compaq, Exxon, a formidable pre-Engineering program, AP (and regular) courses taught by people with PhDs...and this was a public school, not private. We really were afforded top tier instruction for FREE 99. The rough estimate racial make up of the school was around 60% White; 40% Black; 5% Latino; 5% Asian (South and East)/Eastern European. In 1994, we had a Black, female Salutatorian AND a Black, female Valedictorian.
The next year, White parents (mostly mothers) were on our campus trying to collect signatures from other White parents in the school pick-up line on a petition to get the magnet program removed from my school and moved to a school in their neighborhood. They were covert about it, but...I’m an observer. I’d noticed them milling about a few days in a row with their little clipboards, so I pretended I was going towards the buses in order to eavesdrop, heard one of the White mothers explain it to another, and watched with my own two eyes as that White woman determinedly signed her name. I don’t know if clipboard Karen was part of the PTA or just a regular parent trying to stir up shyt, but I knew without a DOUBT what the impetus was.
Obviously, she didn’t frame it that way. She complained about the kids not being rested because they had to get up super early to be bussed to “this side of town.” Poured on the “fear for our students safety” crap THICK for good measure. I should clarify here that yes my school was, indeed, in the hood. *MY* hood, specifically. Yes, it was wild IN the hood, on the residential streets—it was the 90’s and we were living the resultant effects of Reganomics and Ronnie’s disingenuous war on drugs. But CAMPUS was never dangerous before, during, or after classes, at least that I experienced, and I was in many extracurriculars that had me at school either early, late, or both. I remember track practices where it was dark outside, yet we never had issues because the corner dudes didn’t come on our campus. And if they weren’t coming to bother girls in track shorts, they weren’t gonna bother your precious Caucasian prince, clipboard Karen. Plus—our principal was a Black man and they knew we were the “nerd school.” They left us alone. There was never a shooting or threat of gun violence on our campus, because this was pre-Columbine. Sit with *that* bit of irony for a second.
My senior year, we had a race riot on campus when the kids from clipboard Karen’s side of town, who’d formed a group called “The Rebels of D’Ville,” posted a shoutout in the school newspaper with a bunch of acronyms, one being “KTN” which meant “Kill The N!@@ers,” hard -er. They tried to insult our intelligence and say that’s not what it meant. However, when the emblematic way you choose to represent yourselves is having the confederate flag on everything you wear, drive, carry, and stick on the inside of your locker...it’s a very hard sell. The Black students spent the weekend organizing a protest on carefully and creatively navigated three way calls. The plan was to wear all Black, meet in the square, and demand that the administration set rules that the Rebels can’t print codes in the paper anymore. We also wanted an apology.
The day of the protest, students gathered in the square—and the line of demarcation was indicated not only by clothing, but skin color. Threats were yelled across the concrete, and the Black students dared the White ones to “say it to our faces.” They never said the word, but one of the White male students spit—yes, SPIT— at our side, and that ignited a brawl. After the short melee, we had to sit in something resembling a damn sharing circle, and listen to White girls cry about “heritage, not hate”—again, this was the 90’s, lest you think that phrase is some new development.
We also had to endure gaslighting, because WE were not allowed to wear anything that represented Malcolm X, including the “Malcolm, Martin, Mandela & Me” shirts that were popular at the time. (Yes, Martin Luther King, Jr.). We had a very vocal Jewish instructor at the school, so I am willing to bet Malcolm’s affiliation with the Nation is what caused the ban on *his* paraphernalia...but it does not explain why we also couldn’t wear the red, black and green Africa pendants while the “rebels” were absolutely allowed to wear the “You wear your X, I’ll wear mine” shirts. And did. All the time. Again, my principal was a Black man. (Not casting aspersions on him at ALL, just pointing out the fact that this grown, accomplished Black man had to somehow swallow that White boys walking around wearing the confederate flag in his face everyday was ok, while also having to tell Black children they couldn’t represent El Hajj Malik El Shabazz in the same manner.)
All of this to say: I am no stranger to the capacity of hatful evil White people can internalize, justify, and act on when they feel like minorities are getting too big for their britches. As a daughter of the south, I have lived it first hand, many a day. Luckily, I’ve had wisdom passed down from generations that lived through harder times than I’ve ever seen. My grandmother was born in 1903 and lived to be 95 years old. My uncles, aunts, and parents had to drink out of water fountains that were labeled for their skin color. We, in the Black community, are not new to this.
It’s also why yesterday was not a complete surprise to me. I had no incredulity about what was transpiring in the Capitol when White supremacists stormed through doors with their privilege and nary a plan. All I had yesterday was exhausted rage and animated anguish over the fact that even when we do all we can to push this nation forward in order to help EVERYONE, the pushBACK comes from the same cast of characters that have been mad since 1865: LBJ’s lowest White men.
The Late President Lyndon B. Johnson once said, "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." Such a shame that even when afforded access to everything by default, including top tier educations, ignorance is what a majority of White people choose.
And yes, Virginia, it *is* the *majority* of White people. 74 million people vs. 81 million people is damn near a 1:1 ratio. Percentage wise, 60% of white voters voted for trump. I already told you I went to a good school, so you should readily accept that *I* know how percentages and representation work.
We ain’t new to this; but we really wish the nation would stop being so ghatdamb true to this.
Maybe next year’s birthday will be full of fun and celebration, it will be my “Obama birthday,” after all. All I can say now is that y’all BETTER be glad these people chose the 6th and not the 7th to act a fool; had these troglodytes made Blue Ivy’s birthday a mess, THE ENTIRE BEYHIVE WOULD NOT REST UNTIL EVERY ONE OF THESE DOMESTIC TERRORISTS WERE FOUND AND PUNISHED.
The Capitol building really is a majestic building. I have been blessed with the opportunity to be invited to it multiple times, and have pictures of my husband and I on the Speaker’s Balcony. Such a pitiful, criminal shame it was desecrated by thugs, terrorists, and White Supremacist traitors to our democracy. May they get what they deserve.
My only birthday wish today was: America, do TF BETTER.
Shameful, Treasonous Domestic Terrorist Walks Enemy Flag Through the Halls of the US Congress
Maryland State Delegate Mary Ann Lisanti (D)
Hard truth: lying is a part of being human. Big lies, small lies, lies of commission and omission; If there is one thing you can count on human beings to do at least once in their lives, it’s lie. Whether it be a lie to spare someone’s feelings, like the ones you tell at office pot lucks (You know damn well you’re not gonna try Brenda’s nasty looking crock pot surprise, so telling her you’re “on a cleanse” is just easier), or a lie to make something more appealing (Telling people Brenda’s dish was SOOOO GOOOOD last time you had it—which was never), or even a lie to avoid getting caught in a previous lie (YES you ARE still on a cleanse, you’re taking the cupcake hidden under this napkin HOME to your KID…), most people consider the majority of lies they tell harmless or benign, which is why they call them “white lies.” White denotes purity, therefore a white lie must be something pure in intention; innocent; meant to help and not harm.
Then we have actual white lies: the lies white people tell to excuse their racism and bigotry. From Virginia Governor Ralph Northam and his “it wasn’t me in that picture” (after first apologizing for being in the picture, but ok), to newly minted dummy of the day Del. Mary Ann Lisanti, white people can come up with some WHOPPERS when faced with the label of “racist.” Lisanti is the latest casualty of the True Colors Shining Through epidemic, after a colleague reported that she used disparaging language to describe the majority Black county of Prince George’s, Maryland. According to reports, Miss Mary Ann told her white colleague that when he campaigned in Prince George’s on behalf of a candidate last fall he was door-knocking in a “n----- district.” When first questioned on the accusation, she acquired situational amnesia (a frequent symptom of the TCST epidemic) and stated “I don’t recall that. . . . I don’t recall much of that evening.” Later, when asked if she’d ever used the n-word, Lisanti went with “I’m sure I have. . . . I’m sure everyone has used it. I’ve used the f-word. I used the Lord’s name in vain.” However when witnesses came forward, she firmly stated her white lie. Mary Ann Lisanti, a Democratic Lawmaker in the state of Maryland, released a statement to the American public, in the year of our Lord, two thousand and nineteen, that read in part: “I am sickened that a word that is not in my vocabulary came out of my mouth. It does not represent my belief system, my life’s work or what is my heart.”
A word…that is not in her vocabulary….came out of her mouth. Like, involuntarily.
Ok.
Now, look—I don’t claim, to have knowledge of every miracle, medical wonder, or inexplicable phenomenon to have ever occurred, but I’m fairly confident that words don’t just emanate from the larynx unassisted by the brain. Especially words like nigger. Especially words like nigger, when referencing Black people. ESPECIALLY words like nigger, when referencing Black people, from an American White person. For instance, I don’t know the French word for ugly. It’s literally NOT in my VOCABULARY,
therefore I have not, do not, and probably will not ever use it to describe ugly things. (I just looked it up though, and it’s “laid”—which now makes me question if every time someone said “your hair is LAID” it actually meant my hair looked like trash…but I digress.) Yet when you use a word in proper context and common definition, it is safe to say the word is definitely within your vocabulary.
Mary Ann, why you lying? WHY? Just say you didn’t mean to speak in such an ugly way. Say that you apparently have inherent biases that prevent you from being objective when it comes to Black people. Blame it on your privileged and prejudiced upbringing. Blame it on your parents using the word around you growing up. Blame it on the rain. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. But this whole invasion of the bodysnatchers routine is for the birds, as are most actual white lies. Reason being? Actual White lies are easy to spot. They require such a Herculean suspension of disbelief that the most common reaction to hearing them, across multiple demographics, is “bitch, please.” Actual white lies want us to disassociate with our own life experiences and believe in fantasies, fallacies, and fictional fuckery. They are not just an insult to human intelligence they are, themselves, just…dumb. Literally without intellectual content or logical thought. As are the people that tell them.
As of this writing, it has been reported that Lisanti was stripped of her leadership role on an unemployment subcommittee, and will attend sensitivity training for the offense. I wonder if the training will be run by a young priest and an old priest? Maybe Lorraine Warren, famed Connecticut paranormal investigator (and the lady from “The Conjuring”) will make the trip down to the DMV? No matter who facilitates it, I fear whatever possessed Mary Ann and forced her to say words that “aren’t in her vocabulary” won’t be exorcised. Some believe you have to call a demon by it’s name in order to cast it out—but as long as White people continue to tell these actual white lies? Racism and bigotry are here to stay.
Today is the day we, as a nation, observe the birthday of Civil Rights Icon Martin Luther King, Jr. (who was born on January 15, 1929). Today is also the day lots of white people with selective memories shape shift like decepticons into progressive, social justice allies. History, their voting patterns, and their comment sections indicate that they probably loved the good Reverend Doctor then about as much as they love Colin Kaepernick now. But once a year, to show how much they’ve always stood for equality and justice for “The Blacks,” they will trot out some of MLK’s more famous quotes and plaster them on their social media pages, complete with fancy filters and fonts. If they’re feeling particularly introspective, they may mention something contained in his “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” circa 1963. Most times they stick to excerpts from King’s 1963 “I Have a Dream” speech, (which even he decried as superficial “optimism” that needed to be “tempered with solid realism” later in life). Rarely do they venture into the world of King from 1965-1968.
(Wait…y’all do know King didn’t get assassinated right after the Lincoln Memorial speech, right? I mean, I realize history conveniently leaves out MOST of his orations and writings in order to paint a defanged picture of him—especially the ones with stern language condemning America for its continued economic injustice toward minorities and poor whites, after Civil Rights Legislation had been signed into law. History would also LOVE for you to believe that this speech was the end of his social justice career…but nah. His vision advanced beyond the “dream” to his involvement in the Poor People’s Campaign...which ultimately got him murdered by a lone racist named James *cough* the government *cough* Earl Ray.)
When trying to convince people to do something, using the words of a prominent historical figure has been known to influence the masses and drive the point home. No matter the context of the original quote, if just one sentence fits a particular situation it will get chopped and screwed into a remix of “wise words.” King’s words are no exception to this rule, suffering an ironic twist of fate: the ones on tolerance and non-violence are often the tools white people use to try and silence the cries of injustice and intolerance from the very people King was fighting for.
On Sunday, during his vacation from the Hollow Tree Factory, Keebler Elf Mike Pence was the latest abuser of King’s Dream speech. During a “Face the Nation” interview with Margaret Brennan, Pence had the unmitigated gall to not only misrepresent Martin Luther King’s words, he compared King to the bloated Big Mac with sentience currently running our country, Donald Trump. (If you would like to take a second to rinse out your mouth, go right ahead. I threw up a little when I heard it too.)
Michael Pence, the sitting Vice-President of the United States of America, decided that the best way to make a point about the need for a xenophobic wall—which his party is currently holding the country hostage over (the government has been shut down 31 days and counting), was to quote a man who stood for equality among races. WHUT?
I don’t know what kind of product Mike uses to keep that dusty white hair helmet in place, but it must have toxins that are seeping into his pores, through his skull and affecting his brain. Pixie cut Pence stated, with a straight face mind you: “Honestly, you know, the hearts and minds of the American people today are thinking a lot about it being the weekend we are remembering the life and the work of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. King was, ‘Now is the time to make real the the promises of democracy…’ You think of how he changed America, he inspired us to change through the legislative process, to become a more perfect union, that’s exactly what President Trump is calling on the Congress to do, come to the table in a spirit of good faith.”
If you don’t get your intellectually dishonest ass up out of here, Michael.
To start, when people talk about “One of my favorite quotes”, they usually don’t have to stare down at a piece of paper to repeat it. If it’s a “favorite,” you can usually recite it from memory, no? Yet in the video, you notice Pence looks down to READ his favorite MLK quote off of a document in front of him. Interesting. Maybe he had a memory lapse because the quote is so out of context. You see, when Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of the promises of democracy, he was speaking about giving people equal rights. Here is the full text:
“We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.” Yet y’all want us to detach from reality and common sense…to the extent of believing…MARTIN LUTHER KING, JUNIOR would have DESIRED us to perpetuate the current RACIAL DISCRIMINATION toward Latino/Latina peoples through the democratic action of…FUNDING A COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY WALL TO SHOW HOW MUCH THEY ARE NOT WELCOME…IN THIS COUNTRY OF IMMIGRANTS? Ok.
While true that King inspired us to “change through the legislative process,” the change he sought is one that today’s Republican party actively fights against. We are nowhere near a more perfect union, and this administration is currently flying a raggedy looking Trump plane in the complete opposite direction. What Pence and his ilk are doing is completely adverse what King wanted, needed, or instructed us to do…yet they invoke his name in an attempt to get people on board with their bigotry and hatred. This commonplace perversion of his words is exactly the reason why lauded Chicago writer and public servant Leslé Honoré wrote the poem “my king” in 2017 (her entire book is amazing and poignant in our current social climate, and can be purchased here):
Somebody needs to tell Pence and those like him to get their hands and minds right… right off of the words and legacy of Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. They didn’t respect their magnitude and meaning then, and they surely don’t now. If you’re not about his mission? Keep his name out your mouth.
So, we’re three days into 2019, and thirteen days into the toddler-in-chief’s latest temper tantrum. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, or purposefully unplugged from politics to preserve your sanity, you’ve heard about the government shutdown that occurred right before the holidays. President Grinch asked Santa Congress to attach $5 Billion in funding to the government spending bill, so that he could build the wall he promised all his racist, xenophobic supporters on the campaign trail (you know, the one he REPEATEDLY said Mexico was going to pay for…), and Santa Congress said “hell nah.”
Now, maybe it’s because he never watched School House Rock or paid attention in civics class, but Trump honestly doesn’t seem to know how the US Government works. In order for a bill to pass, it has to have the required number of votes in both the House of Representatives (where, at the time, there was a Republican majority) and the Senate (where there is still a Republican majority). When he met with Nancy Pelosi and Charles Schumer prior to the shutdown, he claimed that Democrats were the reason behind the bill not passing. In truth, there aren’t enough House Republicans on board with this ridiculous ass proposition either. Pelosi reminded him of that, and Trump did what Trump does best: vomiting up nonsensical word salad, telling lies, and demonstrating his incompetence. By the end of the conversation, he’d stepped into a pile of huge, steaming shutdown of his own making.
If the shutdown only affected the paychecks of those making the decisions on capitol hill, the decision might be a little more understandable. But numerous government agencies are feeling this hit. Departments like Housing and Urban Development, the Coast Guard, the FCC and FEMA just to name a few, have had to furlough close to 800,000 federal employees or ask them to work without pay. Most ironically, the department that oversees Customs and Border Protection, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, is affected. The very people who work to protect the border are now working without pay, because the president wants to build a wall which probably costs more than 10 years of their salaries combined. This whole situation is just…stupid.
The 116th Congress was seated earlier today, and newly elected Speaker Pelosi wasted no time in bringing a measure to the House floor aimed at partially reopening the government. The bill passed with bipartisan support, but is said to face a veto from the president (if it even makes it out of the Republican controlled Senate). Congressional leaders are slated to meet with the president on Friday in an effort to discuss compromise, but if his previous behavior is any indication, getting him to let go of this wall funding will be more difficult than getting him to pronounce anonymous.
Reading the news these days feels more like reading a script for an experimental spinoff of “House of Cards.” Contrived crises which affect elections, plea deals for criminal activity, and constant chaos at 1600 Pennsylvania feels as though this administration lifted it’s strategies straight from Netflix. Unfortunately, no one in this version is as smart as the TV characters, so it’s more like all political decisions are being made by Tom Hammerschmidt’s dog. No shade to the dog.
On the heels of losing the House to Democrats, the petulant persimmon presiding over America’s fate is poised to throw yet another tantrum over his border wall funding. Trump wants our government to guarantee him $5 Billion (with a B) toward building a “big, fat, beautiful wall" between the US and Mexico. Never mind that the ENTIRE TIME this idiot yodeled about a damn wall on the campaign trail, he swore Mexico was gonna pay for it (and Mexican legislators have said time and time again NO THE FU@K WE AIN’T); Never mind that Congress told him early on in his tenure he needs to go saddown somewhere with this ridiculous request, and that the cost of the wall has ballooned up to three times the original estimates (latest one puts the cost at around $21 Billion); Never mind that he already threatened to shutdown the government over this issue earlier this year, and still didn’t get his way; Donnie wants his wall, and there’s nothing you level headed, law abiding adults can do to change his mind.
The fact that there are thousands of asylum seekers at the border right now, fleeing life threatening gang violence and poverty caused by their own government’s implosion, is pouring racist gasoline on this dumpster fire of an issue. Weeks before the migrant caravan was even close to the US, Trump started his Paul Revere/Chicken Little routine: running around the country at various GOP political rallies shouting “The immigrants are coming! The fences are falling!” Obviously, this was in an effort to make sure bigoted, xenophobic white people would go out and vote Republican, but it also laid a firm foundation for the reemergence of his wall whining. This may explain why the GOP led congress kicked the can of funding the wall down the road until after midterms. He has since deployed around 5,900 active duty troops to the border, (in addition to the 2,100 national guardsmen already there, costing taxpayers around $210 Million), and recently gave authorization to the military for the use of lethal force against the migrants…even though being admitted as a refugee and seeking asylum in America is a perfectly legal process.
All of this builds pressure on congress right before a vote on the budget, which includes his outrageous wall ask. As we all know, pressure bursts pipes, but in this case? Trump is hoping that pressure builds him a wall. Let’s hope this venture ends up just like the majority of the ones he takes in business: as a spectacular failure.
For all the talk of White House chaos stemming from Trump’s declining mental stability (whether said decline be from a rumored battle with dementia or narcissistic personality disorder is still up for debate), we can’t ignore a common thread running through his staff: they seem to be incompetent AF. From Eagle Scout letter mix ups to tweets calling Melania by the wrong name, it looks as though many on payroll at 1600 Pennsylvania are not actually qualified for the job. A remixed old adage fits perfectly here: Like employer, like employee. Sure, some of these things can be chalked up to human error, but when you represent the leader of the free world and the United States as a whole, errors are unacceptable.
In a time where this administration routinely lambasts verifiable truth as “fake news,” yet lies are lauded as “alternative facts,” it has become increasingly difficult to figure out whether or not this chaos is par for the course or purposefully planned. Take for instance the latest gaffe committed by none other than the US Press Secretary, Sarah Huckster-bee Sanders. This walking, talking, Chrysler 300 stands before our nation’s press everyday spinning lies into more lies and never blinks. (I honestly don’t know that she *can* blink with those wonky eyes, but that’s neither here nor there.) Her latest lie actually came with visual aids.
On the day after midterms, our tyrannical tangerine toddler-in-chief gave a press conference which could be classified as one of his most combative to date. At the podium he seemed more defensive than usual, quick to insult reporters and rebuke their questions. He belittled National Urban Radio Network’s April Ryan, saying she was very rude and forcefully repeating “SIT DOWN!” when she would not let him escape a question on voter suppression. He chided PBSNewsHour’s Yamiche Alcindor when she asked about his proclamation of being a nationalist, calling her question “racist.” He pretended to not be able to understand a reporter who asked him about the two Muslim victors in the previous night’s election. The entire thing was a hot mess (you can read the transcript here). The biggest showdown, however, took place on the front row between Trump and CNN’s Jim Acosta. Jim tried to get an answer as to why Trump and the GOP were classifying the caravan of asylum seekers traveling through Mexico as some sort of dangerous immigrant invasion right before midterms. Trump gave his usual non-answer, then got frustrated when he couldn’t escape Acosta’s follow ups. As he repeatedly shouted “That’s enough!” a female white house aide tried to bumrush Acosta and snatch the mic, as he calmly stood there trying to get his question out. Most people who saw this in real time, witnessed exactly that.
Later in the day, it was announced that the White House was revoking Acosta’s press pass. Huh? For what—asking a public servant questions the public wants answered? When asked for clarity, storytellin Sarah issued this statement: “President Trump believes in a free press and expects and welcomes tough questions of him and his Administration. We will, however, never tolerate a reporter placing his hands on a young woman just trying to do her job as a White House intern. This conduct is absolutely unacceptable.” When most of the sane American public read this, their response was a resounding “Girl, WUT?” Surely señorita smokey eye was mistaken, because NOBODY in their right minds who witnessed that exchange would believe this load of nonsense, right?
Wrong.
As soon as the rebukes of her statement came rolling in, Huckabuck Sanders tweeted out a video which she claimed “clearly documented” the “inappropriate behavior” from her official Press Secretary account. It was liked over 100,000 times, and retweeted almost 32,000 times. The trouble is, anyone with half a brain can see that this video was doctored to give the illusion of Acosta’s hand moving faster than it did in real life. Another issue? The video reportedly originated from Infowars—a well known far right-wing conspiracy website who, along with their laughable leader Alex Jones, has been banned from almost all of social media and youtube due to propaganda tactics. Yet, the PRESS SECRETARY OF THE UNITED STATES is spreading their bovine excrement as FACT. What level of incompetence is this? I mean, we know the Trump administration is full of idiots, but really Sarah? Being built like a brick is bad enough, you gotta have a head like one too? Are you aware that you are the press secretary of the country, and not Trumpito’s personal PR agent? Or, could this all be purposeful persuasion via prevarication? This White House knows their base is just a box full of dull tacks and tools, layered with rocks. Anything they throw out there will be accepted as the gospel truth (as found in “two corinthians”). So as to continue their trend of discrediting the press while turning our democracy into a totalitarian regime, they are now citing Inforwars as a reliable source.
This is either the most inept administration of our lifetimes, or the most insidious one. Either way, America? You in danger, girl.
With nary a proper fade, sharp line, or lick of common sense amongst them, a group of coontastic GOP acolytes, unfortunately possessing the magic of Mother Nature’s melanin in their skin, assembled on Friday to pay their fealty toward habanero Hitler. This gathering, coined the “Young Black Leadership Summit,” was a collection of lost souls who actually feel being a Black conservative in America, circa 2018, is something to be publicly proud of. Promoted by twitter personality and flip-flop charlatan Candace Owens, who seems to run from hairdressers and the truth at equal pace, this summit was supposed to be where young Black conservatives would “hear from some of the nation’s most well-known conservative leaders and activists, receive first-class professional development and leadership training, and network with other attendees and organizations from all across the country.” All of which sounds like cover for a bullshit assembly designed to be a photo op for Trump with Black people right before midterms.
Rumors circulated early on that the people in the audience were hired actors being compensated by Republican special interest groups. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that they weren’t paid to act; They were just paid to be the boot-licking idiots they are. On the Turning Point USA website under “Participant Costs,” it reads: “Admission to this event will be free to all attendees. TPUSA will also be covering lodging at no cost to the attendee for the nights of October 25th-October 27th (checking out the 28th). Lunch will be provided on Saturday, October 27th and brunch on Sunday, October 28th.” Turning Point also provided a form to fill out if a “Travel Stipend” was needed to get to DC. So, the only way they successfully gathered approximately 200 (not the 400 they lied about) Black people willing to be public embarrassments to themselves, their parents, their race, and their assumed intelligence, was to bribe them with free food, free lodging, and free or prorated travel. Sounds like a handout for just showing up, AMIRITE? I thought Black conservatives were supposed to be against that kinda thing?!? Hell, most Black people don’t even show up for free food at parties unless they get an acceptable answer to the time honored question: “who all over there?”
Speaking of which, the list of presenters was a laughable cornucopia of people who aren’t even claimed by a majority of the Black American community. It included the usual token folks that GOPers trot out to prove they actually know at least one Black person (Ben Carson, Kay C. James), failed Black “celebrities” (Stacey Dash, Larry Elder), some people looking for youtube fame (David Harris, Jr., Brandon Tatum, Maj Toure and Clay Dub), and a dude who has probably written one of those “A Nigerian Prince Has Left You Money” email scams a time or two (Colion Noir, real name Collins Iyare Idehen, Jr.). Who would rate the “professional development and leadership training” these people offered “first class”….Spirit Airlines? The only profession any of these folks seem to be successful at is tap dancing for white folks and kissing the GOP’s ass. They really needed to hold a four day summit for that?
Back to the main event. Instead of being a world leader and addressing the details surrounding the apprehension of #MAGABomber Cesar Sayoc, Trump decided to hold a pep rally in the East Room of the White House. He spent around 45 minutes lecturing the group of red hatted sycophants with his routine of exaggerated lies, peppered with non sequiturs, and they lapped it up like the trained house pets they were. In between their shouts of “USA! USA!” Trump ran through his usual talking points: making up things he’s done (gained more favor with African American voters) and taking credit for things he didn’t do (the Unemployment rate). He also made sure to mention Kanye West: “For example, we are grateful to Kanye West, how about Kanye? How about Kanye? I don't know. …And -- and one of the polls just comes, Kanye leaves -- and Kanye's really a great guy, he's a little different, do we say? He's a little different. But he has -- he's a smart guy and a good guy. …he's really something very, very special and interesting and I see why people like him. …So -- so I think Kanye -- he may be the most powerful man in all of politics, right?” This backhanded compliment all but confirms that although he’s grateful for the support he, too, thinks Kanye is koo-koo. It has also been said that West is the designer behind the “Blexit” shirts handed out on Saturday at the summit. Koo-koo birds of a feather flocking together AND wearing matching merch? That doesn’t sound like indoctrination AT ALL {/sarcasm font}.
One of the more disheartening things about the summit was the commentary shared from attendees who bought into Trump’s completely unsubstantiated rants about immigrants “taking jobs from the Black community” hook, line and sinker. Two of them even tried to argue with journalist Roland Martin about it, one shouting about taco stands taking over, and the other yelling out nonsensical stats like he had Tourette’s. (WHO is mad about taco stands tho? EVERYONE LOVES TACOS. Maybe you need to invest in taco stands instead of whatever crappy product you’re peddling, my guy. Just saying.) This messaging is completely on brand for the summit, which was supported and funded by groups like the Leadership Institute, The Heritage Foundation, and Campus Reform. These groups fuel conservative ideals against immigration (of brown people), working tirelessly to preserve white supremacy…and what better way to preserve white supremacy than to pit those being oppressed against each other? The divide and conquer tactic of minorities (and poor people) isn’t new; it is a tale as old as time, from slavery overseers to the Southern Strategy to the defeat of the Black Panther Party by the US Government. It looks as though the Trump Administration and the GOP have found a prized pretty pony in Candace Owens and the multitude of Stephens who showed up for this “summit.” Once again, rich white men in America are looking to Black people to do some heavy lifting in safeguarding their positions of power. Unfortunately, there are young Black people who are willing to throw the shackles around their own necks for the price of a cheap weekend in Washington, DC, and a free t-shirt with a crappy design. What a time to be alive.
Looking like he was fresh out of a tanning bed where the color control was set somewhere between “pumpkin pie” and “apple cider,” our Idiot in Chief decided to rile up his racist base by speaking on immigration again Tuesday.
In his statement full of falsehoods, fallacies, and fictitious fantasies, he claimed that the migrant caravan currently moving north from Central America contained MS-13 gang members and Middle Eastern terrorists, financed by Venezuelan leftists and “the democrats, maybe.” Ooook…let’s pretend that the migrants aren't currently running FROM MS-13 gang members. Let’s also assume that Middle Eastern terrorists can’t think of more convenient ways to enter America than flying to Central America, trekking over a THOUSAND miles, on FOOT, through various countries, for MONTHS. (Not to mention Middle Eastern and African immigrants accounted for only 0.7% of border apprehensions last year.) The caravan being funded by “Venezuelan leftists,” when the country of Venezuela is literally in economic free-fall, has to be one of the most laughable parts. WHO is funding a mass exodus of thousands of people? WHAT exactly is being funded—their lack of food, water and shelter? WHEN and WHERE were these funds supposedly collected? HOW are the funds being disbursed? And WHY? What would the end goal even be?!? Proof to back Trumpito’s ramblings is non-existent. He’s actually admitted this. There is absolutely no proof. But facts and truth don’t really matter to anyone in this administration, as demonstrated by Puppet Pence’s presence and support of these nonsensical claims, and Sarah Sanders’ routine doubling down on lies.
If we looked beyond the smoke and funhouse mirrors of this white house, we would see that this administration doesn’t have a problem with immigrants coming to the United States; they only have a problem with certain kinds and colors of immigrants that are coming. As demonstrated by his “shithole countries” remark back in January of this year, the tangerine tyrant isn’t too keen on people that don’t look like him coming to the good ol’ US of A. Yet, people of the paler hue are welcomed with open arms, namely his mail order bride’s wife’s parents. In fact, Melania’s mom and dad became United States citizens through the same program he decried as a dirty process. In a November 2017 tweet, he stated “CHAIN MIGRATION must end now! Some people come in, and they bring their whole family with them, who can be truly evil. NOT ACCEPTABLE!” Two months later, his in-laws took advantage of it, and gained their citizenship. It reminds me of an old saying prevalent in the south: “If you’re White, you’re alright, if you’re Brown, stick around, if you’re Black, stay back.” In Trump’s America, however, the 2018 remix would be “If you’re White, you’re alright AND SCREW THE REST OF YOU.”
You know that phrase “This ain’t yo mama’s civil rights movement,” coined around 2014, during the time of the Ferguson protests? Turns out, it might be a little inaccurate. The civil rights movements of the 50’s and 60’s were focused on equal rights for minorities, namely the right to vote. Since the abolition of slavery, legal voter suppression tactics were commonplace in the form of poll taxes, literacy tests, and plain ol’ physical intimidation, often times leading to death. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 put a stop to most of them, but if you think a white man with a plan to oppress minorities will be denied? You have another think coming. It took an entire century for minorities to actually gain the right to vote, free of charge, yet in just half that time, the Republican Party has figured out cheat codes to work around the 15th Amendment. Since 2008, more than 30 of our 50 states have introduced laws that support voter suppression, and since 2011, 22 states have passed the stricter measures. I’ll give you a hint as to why: it rhymes with “Yo Mama became Resident of the United States.” Looks like we are right back to the same issues of our parent’s (and grandparent’s) civil rights movement.
Just this past weekend, a student has his phone physically ripped away from him by Georgia Senator David Purdue, when he asked Purdue about his support of a candidate who is currently practicing voter suppression. The Senator was at a Georgia Tech game stumping for Secretary of State (and chief election official) Brian Kemp, a Republican currently running for Governor against Stacey Abrams, a Black woman and Democrat. Kemp has been accused of holding up 53,000 new voter registration applications, mostly of minorities and women. The applicants are marked “pending” by Kemp’s office because of Georgia’s “exact match” law, newly passed last year. Some of the things that can hinder an “exact match” approval are a missing hyphen in a last name, a discrepancy between a maiden name and a married name, or a misspelling in government records. As a person whose name is misspelled CONSTANTLY, I completely understand the angst and trepidation a law like this creates. Nobody has a problem spelling “Becky” or “Brett”, but as soon as LaTasha or Jamon turn in their registrations, all kinds of problems occur. White people can spell Tchaikovsky by heart but can’t type Aaliyah without stroking out. Hell, my first name only has three letters of the alphabet in it and people STILL find a way to add more. The insidiousness of this law is that it disproportionately affects minorities—in this case, those more apt to vote for Abrams. The race in Georgia is said to be a toss up, and 53,000 votes could make or break a candidate.
Not to be outdone in racism new voter legislation, North Carolina enacted a law that has effectively shut down 20 percent of their early voting locations. In an effort to throw the rock and hide their hand, they claim the *hours* available for early voting won’t be reduced, just a small change in *days* available, eliminating the Saturday before the election. The hours usually allocated to that Saturday have now been dispersed throughout the week, making 12 hour days for polling volunteers. Without the manpower to work these new hours, polling places have been forced to close. Minority voters are said to be the main beneficiaries of early voting, due to work and transportation hinderances on weekdays. What day do they mostly show up? You guessed it: the last Saturday before the election. In 2016, 200,000 people voted on that day alone. By eliminating this day, minority votes are exponentially annihilated.
The south isn’t the only place minorities are being disenfranchised; this week, North Dakota’s controversial ID laws were confusingly upheld by the Supreme Court. The law requires residents to now show identification with a current *street* address and not their tribal government issued ID cards which only show a PO Box, as they have always done in the past (and even in the primaries, which occurred weeks ago). Just one problem with that whole street address thing: the Native American North Dakotans who live on reservations, numbering in the tens of thousands, do not have street addresses. I bet you’re wondering who Native Americans have a tendency to vote for. Hint: it ain’t Republicans.
Voter fraud is practically non-existent in Georgia, North Carolina, North Dakota and the ENTIRE country, so these measures obviously aren’t about maintaining the integrity of the process. On the contrary, these republican led initiatives are made for one thing and one thing only: to stop the people who traditionally vote against their party from doing so. For anybody out there who still thinks voting is futile, I ask you this: if it didn’t matter, why are these old white men going through so much trouble to stop you from doing it?
If 2018 hasn’t been confusing enough for you, here’s a little conundrum to ponder: while Kanye “slavery was a choice” West is running around here in MAGA hats and supporting Donald Trump, his arch nemesis, Taylor “we still don’t know how you won that VMA over Beyonce´ but whatever” Swift is throwing her public support behind the democrats running for Congress in her home state of Tennessee. Yes folks, you read that right: that leggy loaf of Wonder Bread who crafts an ear worm like no other; the patron saint of melanin deficient, boy-crazy basicness; the poster girl for all things vanilla pop; THAT TAYLOR SWIFT is pledging to vote blue in a red state, while Ye is supporting red pols in a blue state. What. Is. Happening.
On Sunday, October 7th, Taylor released an IG post that broke from her usual silence on politics. It was provocative! It got the people going! She denounced republican incumbent Marsha Blackburn, stating Blackburn’s abysmal voting record as the reason they now have bad blood. If her declaration on behalf of democrats wasn’t sufficient, Tay-Tay is also encouraging all her followers, which includes a huge chunk of 18-23 year olds, to register, vote, and follow her lead. This, of course, lead to the inevitable by racists angry, dejected fans: public displays of lighting her (already purchased and profited off of) merchandise on fire and decrying her choices.
The burning question I have, however, is this: HOW TF IS TAYLOR SWIFT MORE WOKE THAN KANYE WEST RIGHT NOW? I mean, I’m sure it has something to do with his proximity to the succubus that is Kris Kardashian Jenner and her cambion daughters (I mean, their initials *are* KKK…), along with a refusal to medicate for his Bipolar disorder, but…STILL. This is the same dude who, on national television, uttered the words “George Bush does not care about Black people” while we watched New Orleans drowning in Katrina’s waters and her people abandoned on rooftops. This is the same dude who, on his first album, said “Now n---as can't make it to ballots to choose leadership/ But we can make it to Jacob's and to the dealership/ Swear I hear new music and I just don't be feelin' it/ Racism's still alive, they just be concealin' it”. THE SAME DUDE that said "Meanwhile the DEA/ Teamed up with the CCA/ They tryna lock n---as up/ They tryna make new slaves/ See that's that privately owned prison/ Get your piece today” on one of his more recent albums. Ye went from rapping about how the government oppresses minorities he identified with to embracing a fascist looney toon that is literally locking little brown children up in concentration camps, all the while saying he won’t be “bullied” into believing fat meat is greasy. Woof. I don’t claim to know the late Ms. Donda West’s politics, but I’m led to believe this ain’t how she raised him to be.
On the other hand, Taylor Swift, who is probably aware that a large portion of her fan base are children of (and members of) the 53 percenters, is willing to put her career aspirations to the side and stand for what is good, right and just. Taylor Swift, whose lyrics are pretty much all about boys, having fun with boys, falling in love with boys, breaking up with boys, having fun with her girls without boys, etc. etc., is using her real life voice to stand up for minorities with her vote. Taylor Swift, who (in my honest opinion) sometimes can’t hold a note in a bucket when performing live, is holding up her fist in solidarity to resist and reject those who stand with the tangerine tyrant. TAYLOR SWIFT, who was ACTUALLY BULLIED on stage by Hennessy fueled Kanye West, is standing with people who don’t look like her, love like her, or identify gender-wise like her, because she knows that her stance has weight and can change THEIR lives for the better. She’s a very rich, very famous white woman in America—it’s safe to say she’s fine when it comes to how the government affects her personally. She doesn’t even have skin in this game, yet she’s acting more like skinfolk to minorities than a person who is actual. skinfolk. We are firmly in Bizzaro world.
To add insult to injury, Kanye is supposed to be meeting with Pumpkin Spice Putin (you know, because he’s the gross American version…and he looks like a bloated orange gourd) YET AGAIN. To discuss what, heaven only knows. While he’s kissing up to dictators, I think I’ll remove his albums from my iTunes library and make room for an album or two from Tay-Tay. Well…maybe not a whole album, but some singles for sure. I might even dedicate one to Ye…namely WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER. #KanyeIsCancelled
In today’s latest installment of “Losing My Faith In Humanity”… *sigh*
Brett Kavanaugh, the drunken frat boy who is wholly unfit to sit on any bench (let alone one in the highest court of the land), apparently has a bevy of sympathizers willing to come up out of their pockets and pensions to show their support…and ignorance. Started by John Hawkins of Ocean Isle Beach, NC, a Go Fund Me page for “Brett Kavanaugh’s Family” has raised over $500K in 8 days. Half a million dollars. For a privileged white man who is gainfully employed and looking for a raise. For a man who owns a $1.2 Million dollar home in Chevy Chase. For a man who will earn a pension somewhere around $250K a year. Really? Far be it from me to spend other people’s money, but I’m sure there are causes more worthy than this.
Johnny boy, whose claim to fame is running the “Right Wing News” website where he’s touted as the “blogosphere’s premier interviewer” (and he’s verified on Twitter AND Facebook, THANK YOU VERY MUCH), fears for Brett’s safety and wants his family to be taken care of in this “very scary time for young men in America” (side eye to salmon colored Satan for that nonsense). John says the money will go toward security detail for the Kavanaugh Klan, or be used “however they see fit”. He doesn’t personally know Kavanaugh—as is made evident in every update he’s posted on the account, detailing his attempts to get in touch with the family. John has contacts that know people that know Kavanaugh…maybe. I’m guessing this is a friend of a friend’s sister’s cousin’s hairdresser’s FedEx guy that delivers Brett’s kegs on a weekly basis? Who knows. As of the latest update, he has talked to a staffer that knows the judge and was told it may take a little while before they get an answer as to what to do with the money.
What’s most surprising (read: ABSOLUTELY EXPECTED BECAUSE 53%ers ARE TRASH) is the number of women who have contributed to this campaign. At the time of this writing, the “most raised from sharing” distinction goes to Ms. Dori Medina, whose social network apparently consists of people who think Brett has gotten a raw deal and have collectively raised $105 toward the effort. Dori, I could name about 50 other charities that could put that $105 toward MUCH better use, namely RAINN, the National Sexual Assault Hotline. They experienced an unprecedented 200% increase in call volume during Kavanaugh’s hearing and, according to their website, are still having longer than usual wait times. The irony of this situation is quite disheartening: Assault survivors finally feel brave enough to share their stories, yet 11,813 people feel the man accused of attempted rape and other sexual deviances is the one who needs protection. I admittedly haven’t done the math, but I’d wager at least 53% of those eleven thousand are white women. These people should all be ashamed of themselves. Next time they inquire as to why women don’t report sexual assault? They should check their bank and credit card statements.
Oh, boy. Thursday was a DAY.
The Senate Judiciary Committee held a public hearing for Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, one of the 4 (5? I can’t keep up…) women who has accused him of being a sexual assailant. This hearing was supposed to help the committee and the American public get a better view into the allegations, hear both sides of the story, and possibly determine their validity in a non-partisan, objective environment. Yeaaaaaaaah, that didn’t really happen.
The first clue that the GOP was full of games and shenanigans was the presence of Rachel Mitchell, a special prosecutor from Arizona experienced in sex crimes. The Judiciary Committee has no women on the GOP side, so what do these old-crotchety-white-men-who-only-want-to-promote-their-agendas do? Hire one from across the country and fly her in to question Dr. Ford, so that they don’t *look like* the bunch of old-crotchety-white-men-attacking-a-survivor-of-sexual-abuse-in-order-to-promote-their-agendas they are. Ms. Mitchell however, proved to be a bit of a backfired plan for the Republicans. Since the committee members take 5 minute turns, and the political parties alternate each turn, Mitchell was only allowed to proceed after her questioning had been interrupted by apologies and praise from Democrats. Through this frustrating and tedious process, Mitchell ended up bolstering Dr. Ford’s credibility, almost beyond the shadow of doubt. Towards the end of Ford’s interrogation, Mitchell surprised many viewers by jokingly asking “would you believe me if I told you that there is no study that says that this setting in five-minute increments is the best way to do [this]?” As if to say “Look, I’m just here to do a job and stay neutral. So if you don’t get the result you want, it’s not my fault. Don’t @ me, GOP bros.”
The GOP was dejected and the outlook was grim. Faux News Anchors were voicing their fears aloud, saying this was a disaster for republicans. Meaning it looked like Dr. Ford was telling the truth, and people believed her. (Spoiler Alert: She’s telling the truth. #BelieveSurvivors) What, oh what were they gonna do? The truth is such a foreign concept to the GOP, they were genuinely baffled at the situation.
Just to remind everyone: Supreme Court positions are LIFETIME appointments, and the vacancy Kavanaugh was nominated to fill already came about in a very peculiar way (with the suspicious, early retirement of Justice Anthony Kennedy), and at a very peculiar time (after the Republican majority senate CHANGED THE RULES in order to confirm Trump’s first pick, Neil Gorsuch…after stalling out Obama’s pick so that Trump could get the pick in the *first* place). Supreme Court rulings affect people for GENERATIONS. If a president as incompetent as Ding-Dong J. Trump is placing TWO people on it? We should ALL be concerned and paying complete attention to the moral character of his nominees. This is, in essence, an intensive background check on someone who wants a very important job. (Kinda like the one we should have done on Donald Trump, #ButHerEmails…)
With Dr. Ford being embraced by the nation as a sympathetic witness, Kavanaugh decided to enter his testimony with brow furrowed, jaw clenched, and eyes full of…invisible tears. He alternated between looking like a spoiled brat, whining about crusts not being cut off his PB&J, and someone suffering with the worst dry mouth and seasonal allergies ever. I’m assuming he was trying to convey the emotional rollercoaster he has been on since these allegations surfaced, but all many saw was a privileged white male fake-crying because this girl and her rape trauma were standing in the way of his big promotion. Poor wittle Bwett Bwett. Mitchell began her line of questioning, but Kavanaugh did not prove to be as willing or cooperative a witness as Dr. Ford. When the Democratic senators had their shot, his agitation and deflection only increased. This was probably evident to the GOP—which is why they suddenly and without announcement decided to dump Mitchell, mid-hearing, and resume the questioning themselves. It was quite the change of course, and to usher it in with proper fanfare, Senator Lindsey “I wanna be Francis Underwood so bad” Graham decided it was his time to SHINE. And by shine, I mean throw a nonsensical hissy fit that would rival a Real Housewife. Lindsey came out BIG MAD. He wanted the world to know. He had to let it show. It was also the cue for the rest of the GOP committee members to fall in line. Questioning Kavanaugh magically and theatrically turned into pacifying Kavanaugh. By the end of their turns, Faux News was spinning this as a major comeback for the GOP. Even after determined Dems like Booker and Harris left him little to no wiggle room, Kavanaugh still was lauded by the right as an honest man who is being smeared by this rape nonsense. One can safely assume they don’t really care if he did it, they just don’t want it to LOOK LIKE he did it. (Another Spoiler Alert: He still looks guilty AF. Because he is.)
If and when the vote proceeds on Friday, we can only hope that enough people on the right saw through the magician’s distraction and are not easily fooled by slight of hand. Aside from the fact that Weepy McRapeyBeer does not seem to possess the mental or emotional stability of a supreme court judge—do we REALLY want to put ourselves in a position to have to explain to our daughters how, not one, but TWO men accused of sexual assault are literally in charge of laws that affect…sexual assailants? How do you make the same mistake twice in a lifetime, America? Oh…wait. White men still in charge. Got it.
Thank You & Try The Veal!
Today, instead of being bored with the business of maintaining solid social, economic, cultural and humanitarian efforts across the globe, the United Nations General Assembly was treated to a comedy show staring Mango Mussolini himself, Donald J. Trump. Although he arrived half an hour late to his set, the orange-dyed dictator landed some solid laughs right out of the gate. With a straight face and steeled reserve, he dug into his favorite bag of one liners to deliver this gem: "In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country…” A wave of giggles began to take over the audience, interrupting the statement and almost derailing the despot, but salmon colored Satan knows how to work his audience. In the next breath, he went in for the kill by stating: “So true.” The crowd lost it. Never before, in the history of the UNGA, has a world leader been laughed at so heartily. This is definitely one for the record and history books. To top it all off, the idiot-in-chief showed a fleeting moment of chagrin when he said “Didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s ok,” to which the crowd applauded and laughed harder.
Unfortunately, that was the peak of his performance. As the rest of his set labored on, he bragged on his bromance with crazed dictator Kim Jong Un, rambled through complaints about America being treated unfairly in trade agreements, and threw jabs at China, the Assad regime, Iran, and Germany. The Germans, however, took it in stride, offering up more laughter and shared whispers among themselves which seemed to say “This guy is hilarious!” Even still, Trump was visibly out of his depth at the podium. This was not the audience full of MAGA hats and “Lock Her Up” chants he’s grown so accustomed to for the past three years. On this stage, he is among political peers and intellectual giants. The clementine clown act just doesn’t cut it at the UN.
True to form, there is always, always, ALWAYS A TWEET that makes a Trump situation ironic as hell. I rarely agree with the statements of Donald Trump, but on this 25th day of September in the year of our Lord two thousand and eighteen, I find myself on one accord with a tweet his assistant he made long before he became the HNIC (Head Nectarine In Charge). It stated: “We need a President who isn’t a laughing stock to the entire World. We need a truly great leader, a genius at strategy and winning. Respect!”—Donald J. Trump, August 9, 2014 3:30 AM (via Twitter)
Indeed, we do, and I believe Donald Trump can actually be the one who will facilitate this occurrence, by including these two words into his next public speech: "I resign.”
(Bonus points if he adds: “And I’m taking Pence with me.”)
Journey with me, if you will, to the past: a time of bullies, bad fashion and bangs; where hormones run rampant and decisions are as bad as the cafeteria food…I’m talking about High School, folks. I want you to picture your high school friends and acquaintances, count up how many of them you were with every second of every day. Got it? Good, now stick a pin in that thought.
Before Al Gore’s internet gave us social media—the place where people will sleuth out ALL your business, even though you only post a carefully curated highlight reel—the way we remained connected was limited to folded up looseleaf paper and the miracle of three-way calling. So it’s quite possible your friends were able to do things without your knowledge, right? Well, the GOP doesn’t think so. Which is why they are selling us this hot, buttery bullshit of a letter signed by 65 women who happened to know Brett Kavanaugh in high school, in order to refute Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s attempted rape accusation.
Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif), ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, was made aware of Dr. Ford’s account of sexual assault at Kavanaugh’s hand sometime in July. Feinstein referred the case to the FBI, the accusation became public, and the GOP threw a hissy fit at what looked like a last-minute attempt in thwarting their corruption confirmation plans. Interestingly enough, they were fully prepared with a rebuttal to this very same “last-minute” discovery they complained about. Which lets me know two things: 1) The GOP was very aware of the accusation well ahead of it becoming public, and 2) The GOP is very willing to put an attempted rapist onto the Supreme Court. The rebuttal, issued within 24 hours of the accusation going public, was the aforementioned letter signed by 65 women, who said Kavanaugh has “behaved honorably and treated women with respect” for the entire time they have known him. Let’s unpack that a bit, shall we? Pull out that pin.
How many of us can say we knew 65 people WELL in high school? I mean, being in Beta Club together does not mean I’m sure you are not a rapist. In high school, you had a close friend circle of 5-7 people MAX, and that’s if you were lucky. Sure, there were people you knew outside of that circle, like the folks you shared the lunch table with everyday, your homie on the track team, the kid in homeroom you’d always loan pencils to, and your bus mate that always saved you a seat in the back because CLUTCH, but did you know those people well enough to know their deepest, darkest desires and deeds? HELL NO YOU DID NOT. Additionally, how many of us can say we knew someone well enough in high school, that we would vouch for their every movement and decision thirty years later? I wouldn’t even vouch for my high school boyfriend at this stage in life. Sure, he never raped ME, and he treated ME with honor and respect, but I suspect that was more because he was scared of my mother chopping off his private parts than anything else. I was not with him every minute of the day, so I cannot in good faith sign my name to a document refuting another woman’s experience with him. To make matters worse, Brett Kavanaugh went to an all boy’s school. That means these 65 women knew him even LESS than the women who attended co-ed high schools know their male classmates. Really GOP? An attempted rape charge and this is the best you could come up with? 65 women from the surrounding schools and neighborhoods who knew about a boy named Brett that heard he was a good guy because he never tried to rape THEM? Give me a break.
In a compelling turn of events, what seemed to be a shoo-in confirmation for Kavanaugh has now been paused for more investigation and hearings. Dr. Ford, who has already passed a polygraph test and has medical records detailing the attack which predate Kavanaugh’s nomination by at least 6 years, is scheduled to testify before the committee on Monday, September 24th. I have little hope for justice to prevail, seeing as though I lived through the Anita Hill hearings, but we will watch closely and see how the situation unfolds. Aside from the fact that Kavanaugh would be a total nightmare on the supreme court due to his views on Net Neutrality, Women’s Reproductive Rights, Healthcare, and Gun Laws, we already have one accused sexual deviant on the bench. We don’t need two. *stares directly at Clarence Thomas*
